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The Best Movies Ever!

Dokter Wacko

Dokter Wacko
What were you doing in 1985? I was in the savage wilderness of Unincorporated Arapahoe County redefining cinematic brilliance with my epic 12-minute masterpiece Dokter Wacko. Ever wonder what it would look like if your big brother duct taped a super 8 camera to a snow shovel and beat the crap out of you with it? Wonder no more. Witness the genesis of the snowshovelcam here, as well as the vomitcam. Dokter Wacko is the story of a simple man who eats a radioactive banana, which makes him start wearing a cape and killing people. Strangely, all the people he kills look very similar, as if the victim were the same actor in a different role, symbolizing that every attack on a human is an attack on humanity, as we are all one. I'm a genius. Or maybe we shot it that way because we didn't have any friends to play victims. Is it awful bloody or bloody awful? You be the judge.


The Narcoleptic Bookworm
Click to see what happened to me when I fell asleep in the library in 1990. This movie raises many important questions. Some consider it to be the most important film of the 20th century. If you anticipate someday being attacked by crazed cannibals wielding deadly plungers in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, it is imperative to watch this film to learn what to do and what not to do. A plunger is especially dangerous if you duct tape a Bombardier motorcycle spark arrester to the end of it. In the future, mutant cannibals will make many interesting fashion choices. Some will even wear capes. This movie actually recieved the grade of A from avant-garde filmmaker and Professor Stan Brakhage at the University Of Colorado, Boulder.


More movies coming soon.